A little while ago, I listened to the audio book of Marie Kondo’s Life Changing Magic of Tyding Up. Even though I didn’t really feel like thanking all my stuff or really getting everything into one place, it did motivate me to declutter. My concise version was (and is) all about asking whether something fits in my perfect life as I see it. And I liked the way the book was narrated. Imagine my surprise, when I encountered the same type of narration from a TED Talk by Sarah Knight! But… a rather sarcastic one. And with a slightly different angle.
Clearing your house or your head
If you haven’t read or listened to the Life Changing Magic of Tidying up, I’m not sure if you’ll really notice the sarcasm, but you might notice the references Knight makes. Her idea is: it is all very nice to clear your house and get rid of your stuff, but it will take you one week and it will last two weeks. You would be better off clearing your head. Or as she likes to say it: not giving a f***. The life changing magic of not giving a f***.
In order to do this, you have to decide what you want to give your time, money, and energy to. There are limits to how much energy, time and money you have, so just like you wouldn’t spend money you don’t have on things you don’t want, you should also not spend energy or time on things you don’t want. Especially not if you can use it for things you DO want. Such as your dreams. Knight suggests keeping a budget of f***s. If you’re invited for something, decide if you care. If not, you should not spend one of your f***s (time, energy, money) on this thing. And if you say so in time, you have nothing to feel sorry or ashamed about.
I love it, but…
Even though I don’t really care for this kind of language, I do love the idea: not spending my time, money, and energy on stuff that does not really matter to me. And I often feel like I cannot do that, because I don’t want to dissappoint people. Since she can relate to that, Knight offers the ‘No Sorry’-approach. It means that you decide, in a timely matter, whether or not you want to give a f*** of your budget to a particular thing. If not, you should be kind and honest about it. And if you are, there’s no shame in saying no. You are allowed to say no. And you don’t have to feel sorry about it.
I do feel, however, that clearing your house still is a good idea. You know what they say: if you have a clean desk/house/whatever, you also have a clear head! So this week, I won’t only work on my ‘saying no’ to things I don’t want to do, but also to stuff I don’t want to have.
It’s only about 12 minutes and even without a reference frame, it is a great watch:
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Please send me a note in the comments or via Facebook!